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I want to have some positivity here, so let me leave you with two solid buys: Fae of Wishes (Showcase nonfoil): You can get these around $2 and there are a couple of different decks in Standard and Pioneer that use them

Even if your Ring-bearer isnt inherently legendary, being Ring-bearer makes it legendary

Its all-hands-on-deck, as game data designers, illustrators, play testers, and even marketing personnel strive to create one of the most popular childrens toys in the world

He is cheap and big and an artifact himself which adds to the synergy of the decks he is good in

2) Cut each card in half vertically

This is a much simpler and more elegant solution - if you can pull it off