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The first ability is a replacement effect, not a triggered ability

Communicating for Public Awareness We will regularly publish market reports based on our partnerships with external organizations and experts, as well as on insights and research findings gathered from the field

I looked at every English language common with a current price for the cheapest-printed version (according to TCGplayer's market price on Scryfall) of more than the price of a Standard booster: $7

[3] [4] The Commander format requires that a legendary creature be selected as one's commander

Last and probably also least, Michelle Rodriguezs Holga, Relentless Rager sadly leaves much to be desired

You wouldn't just run onto the field without warming up, right